“You don’t even want to find a job. You just sit on your computer all day.”
I flipped around at my then-boyfriend, incredulous. We were arguing about why I hadn’t found a “real” job yet and about my “hobby” of blogging. I should have known then, but I didn’t. It would be easy to cast him as mean-spirited, but when it comes down to it, he just didn’t get it. He didn’t get the work I was trying to build up to, the passion I was working to create. He didn’t get me.
Haters are everywhere.
This encounter with my ex wasn’t the first time I dealt with unsupportive people, nor would it be the last. Haters date back to the early days of civilization. I imagine someone telling the person who painted in the caves of Lascaux, “What’s that supposed to be?”
Gustave Eiffel, J.K. Rowling and Vincent Van Gogh all famously dealt with people who didn’t get their visions. Haters can be friends, family or coworkers. They can be sleeping next to you every night or Internet trolls, spewing hateful comments on your blog.
Take criticism and rejection with a grain of salt.
Writers, bloggers and creatives as a whole need thick skin already, but even expert opinions can be wrong. Just look at all these famously wrong rejection letters on Mental Floss. I take so much pleasure in proving people wrong. I’ve certainly thought about sending my ex, and other haters, my clips from National Geographic Traveler and AFAR, most of which has come about because of my “hobby” blog and time spent on the computer!
Don’t let outside opinions influence your vision.
I’ve been listening to Elizabeth Gilbert’s podcast “Magic Lessons,” which is an offshoot of her new book Big Magic about finding your creative passion. In the first episode, entitled “Do What Ignites Your Soul,” she urges a young mother to follow her passion of being a writer.
There are so many quotable lines in the first few episodes, so I urge you to go listen instead of me listing them out here. But the gist is this: you have to go after what you want. You may be bogged down in other stuff including stuff you love, like your family, or stuff you hate, like your job, but you owe it to yourself to follow your creative passions.
This is a great post. I’m learning to channel them out of my life (the haters.) Sometimes, if I’m honest, my inner voice is often the worst culprit, though. :) Yoga has been helping.
Oh Caroline, this is something I really struggle with. I feel that the negativity I have received from people is valid because I’m not a mega success yet. Maybe it’s stopping me from putting myself out there. I love your attitude and I really hope your ex is stalking you because you won.
@Sarah: I think success is something determined by you, not other people. Just keep on hustling!
I’ve heard people talk well of bloggers and I’ve heard people talk poorly of bloggers. I personally don’t like it when someone tells another person that their hobby is dumb or is a time waster. If they like it and have a passion for blogging, let them do it! Same as any other hobby or interest. Keep it up, Caroline!
I have a question. I am 34 years old and I want to do a work visa. I am from the US. Is there a program that would allow me to do that since I am over the age limit?
Thanks a bunch!
Hey Tasha,
It totally depends on where you’re going. Send me an email and we can chat more!
Caroline
Couldn’t agree more. I had a similar ex-boyfriend, ‘ex’ being the key word there ;-)
Seriously! Good riddance :)
I think just having a passion is incredible! Cudos to anyone pursuing their passion, even if they have doubts or struggle with success. I don’t even have a passion.. yet. But I’m working on it.
Good post! The “hating” is about the person who does the hating, not the person it’s directed towards. Thus said, it’s not always that easy to deal with; however, it looks like you’ve done and you’re doing a great job with it. Congratulations on your success!
Loved reading this! Good on you for sticking to what you love. I love reading your blog, keep up the good work and well done on all your success!