As my 30th birthday comes rushing towards me, I’ve started to think about the last decade of what’s supposed to be the best time of your life. But I like to think the best is yet to come. Inspired by Christine’s recent post, I’m talking about what I wish I hadn’t done and the things I’m most proud of from my twenties.
Regrets
I try not to live my life with regret, but it’s easy for me to look back on the last decade, as I face my thirtieth birthday in the coming week.
1. Studied abroad.
I made the decision not to study abroad for a few reasons, but most were financial. I was already going to an out-of-state college and the fees on top of that would have been astronomical. I also didn’t want to be away from my home in Charleston for that long.
But my degree, political science, had a program in Cuba that was before the end of the embargo. A friend of mine did it and loved it. It would have been an incredible opportunity to learn about a place before tourism returned. Instead, I spent every possible semester break abroad.
2. Made my mental health as much of a priority as my physical health.
I’m not sure why, but no one really talks about mental health in my life, either my friends or family. That’s starting to change, but it’s not like there hasn’t been anxiety and depression all around me. Despite having my first panic attack in fourth grade and briefly taking a version of Prozac, I had never seen a therapist or mental health professional until I was in my late twenties.
I was deep in disordered eating between the end of middle school on and off through high school and could have used the support.
3. Learned to drink responsibly.
I didn’t drink at all until I was 18 and months into my freshman year of college. I missed much of that time others spent sneaking sips in high school and instead jumped straight into parties and borrowed IDs. Now that I am older, I still struggle with moderation. I don’t drink often, but when I do it seems to be a lot. It’s also a downside of my lifestyle and the all-inclusive press trips I go on.
4. Taken care of my skin, hair, and body early on.
I started treating my hair at a young age and dyed it in middle school. Since then, it’s been continuous highlights to keep up with it. I also never started washing my face daily because I didn’t have acne problems but now that I have eczema, I wish I’d started back then.
5. Spent more time learning.
Obviously I learned a lot in college, but I wish I’d taken more or different classes. I wish I’d kept up Spanish in college instead of Italian and French. I wish I’d taken more journalism, photography, and web classes in college based on my current career. And maybe I wish I’d fit in those “fun” classes my school offered like ballet, sailing, and the literature of Harry Potter.
6. Gone on a second working holiday.
I still could technically do this, but I wish I’d taken the opportunity to go to New Zealand for a second working holiday. At the time, going away for another year felt too soon. I know it wouldn’t be the same as my time in Australia, but working abroad is one of the best things I’ve ever done. I wish I hadn’t jumped straight into a relationship when arriving in Australia, so this would have been a do-over.
7. Had someone to talk to about relationships.
I am a late bloomer in every sense and haven’t dated much in my life in part to my shyness and a religious upbringing. Apart from a few friends and my college roommates, I haven’t really had anyone to talk to about relationships, dating, and all that comes with it. I feel like I’m still learning by trial and error.
8. Cared about fitness and health sooner.
In your early twenties, it’s easy to eat whatever you want and not worry about it, but my metabolism has slowed down enough that I have to exercise. It’s taken me years to find something that I like to do in terms of working out and to find food that is healthy but tastes good. I never used to eat vegetables but am slowly but surely adding to my diet.
9. Started pitching confidently.
It took me years to call myself a writer, despite working in the industry for that entire time. I was interning and freelancing in college, but I didn’t have enough confidence in my career or abilities to start pitching stories for a long time. If I had taken myself seriously from the beginning, I might have more work or be more comfortable at networking.
10. Stopped beating myself up.
I am my worst critic, even today. I’m not Catholic, but I take the concept of “Catholic guilt” to new heights, constantly doubting everything I say and do. It’s exhausting. While this can sometimes be good in terms of editing my work, it’s a negative part of my personal life that I’m still working on.
Accomplishments
But I also have made so many dreams happen in a short amount of time. It’s hard for me to find as many accomplishments as regrets, but that’s a personal failing. I struggle to recognize my own success as much as failure.
11. Graduated college.
I’ve always been good in school, but college was harder than I expected. There were certainly classes that I struggled in and having the beach so close was certainly a distraction. But I graduated with a decent GPA.
12. Lived and worked abroad self sufficiently.
While I haven’t been able to do so since then, I was able to work and pay rent while still saving up to travel when living in Sydney, one of the most expensive cities in the world. It helped that I had so few expenses because I ate meals at work, but I am still proud that I didn’t need my parents’ help to get by during this time.
13. Became my own boss.
While I don’t feel like it in this exact moment when I’m struggling with my finances, I quit all of my backup jobs a few years ago to pursue writing full time. It certainly has its ups and downs but there’s nothing else I’d rather be doing.
14. Learned how to scuba dive.
I’m a true water baby, but I’m not going to lie: scuba diving is a bit intimidating. The first time I looked up and saw how far the surface was, I almost freaked out. But I’ve since passed both the open water and advanced certifications and been diving in places around the world. I don’t get to go as often as I’d like, since I live so far from the ocean, but I’m proud of this accomplishment.
15. Wrote a book.
I thought I would be able to say that my book would be out next week, but that’s no longer the case. Instead, it’s been pushed back a few months. But it has been written and submitted to my publisher. I originally set out to write something totally different, but am proud of the book it ended up being, which showcases my love for the region I call home. Pre-order here.
16. Gained recognition for my work.
While I still have to pitch stories, I also get work from referrals or from people who have read my work elsewhere. I’ve been lucky enough to work for award-winning publications on stories that I’m incredibly proud of.
17. Ran two half marathons and a triathlon.
I am not a runner. I don’t have the body or the mental toughness to be one. But for a while, I ran races to prove that I could. I ended up completing two half marathons and a triathlon, albeit fairly slowly, before searching for an activity that better suited me. But I still have these reminders of what I can actually accomplish.
18. Hiked the Inca Trail.
Despite it being on my Life List for a decade, I don’t think I ever thought I would really do it, even though I didn’t hike the entire four day trail. It was definitely a test. I’m writing a story about it for an outlet right now, but I will say that podcasts and positive thinking got me through it.
19. Built a life that allows me to travel.
Sure, I don’t own a house and there is a lot I can’t afford. I don’t drive a nice car or go out to expensive dinners. But travel is something that’s important me so it’s how I spend my money. Thankfully, my career allows me to take off for a few days or a few weeks.
20. Survived.
There are a lot of stupid and dangerous things I did in my twenties like we all inevitably do. I rode in a hot air balloon in Turkey and went bungee jumping in Australia. I’ve gone swimming with crocodiles and been in countries during revolutions. And I made it out alive!
Leave a Reply